When Jesus heard that, he said, “This sickness is not unto
death, but for the glory of God, that the Son of God might be glorified
thereby.” (John 11:4)
On 7th August 1997, the morning of my 25th
birthday, I awoke early and decided suddenly that my “birthday gift” to myself
was to go and get myself tested for HIV. I drove to the Hill Street Clinic in
Hillbrow, Johannesburg, and was counselled and tested. Two weeks later, around
12 noon, I walked out of the Hill Street Clinic completely devastated. I had
just been diagnosed HIV Positive!
At the top of the stairs leading down to the street I was
stopped dead in my tracks by a clear voice within that said, “This is not unto
death, but that God’s glory will be revealed through your life.” I knew
immediately what was meant or implied by this ‘bold statement’ and I knew
exactly where it was coming from. This gave me an instant sense of peace, and I
continued on home to prepare for my shift which started at 2pm. About 3 weeks later, I received another clear
word that said, “Not only will you not die from this, but you will ‘Heal’,
because that which you learn through your healing process will become your
ministry…
I clearly understood all of this to be a distinct and
undeniable promise and calling from God for my life. But, I did not grab onto
that promise, not for a very, very, long time…..
Fast forward 11 years to August 2008 in Strand, Cape Town. I had been having the odd health issues for a while, but these were becoming more and more frequent. After my birthday in August things really took a downward spiral and by October I was really in a bad way. At this time, after numerous unsuccessful attempts to chat with me on the telephone, my mother sent me this text message from Durban, “My door is always open if you need a place.” I made the decision to return home to Durban to my mom, but more importantly, I made the decision to return my life back to God. I told my friend, I’m going back to Durban to heal body, soul and spirit. And, when you see me again you will encounter a brand new person.”
I flew to Durban on 4th November, totally excited
to finally grab onto God’s promise and reclaim my life. I was filled with an
immense faith and an insatiable desire for praise and worship. In that first
week I sat down with my mother in our kitchen and said the ‘sinner’s prayer’
and accepted Jesus into my life to be my Lord and Saviour. Within that week my
health worsened and I began attending the HIV clinic on 11th
November with the view to getting onto ART’s (anti-retroviral treatment). When
they checked my CD4 count the result came back as 39. I remember crying and laughing
all at once. Crying, because of the low and shocking number, yet laughing
because I was still alive in spite of this.
With my immune system being so depleted, every day brought brand new challenges as my organs and bowels malfunctioned, and then there was the PAIN. I experienced a new excruciating pain, every day, if not my stomach, then severe headaches, dry, burning eyes, and I also developed severe Candida (an opportunistic Yeast Infection) which made it impossible for me to eat most foods and reduced my diet to Oats porridge (with no salt, no sugar and no milk) for weeks at a time. And then there were my feet. I developed Neuropathy (a deadening/misfiring of the nerve endings in my feet), and this was the worst pain by far. My doctor prescribed various Vitamins, Mineral Supplements and Bactrim and I started to see some improvements in my health.
It was within this’ month that my HEALING truly began.
Something Supernatural happened to me on my couch in our living room, (which is
where I was now confined to as I was too weak to climb the stairs to my
bedroom), and as I listened to that ‘Healing’ crusade, the ‘full presence of
the God’ came upon me, and stayed right there with me all the time. I would
wake up sensing it all around me and within me. Then I’d play the DVD, singing
“Holy Spirit, Thou art welcome in this place”, and get swept even deeper into
that sweet, Holy Presence. I’d find myself praising out loud in song one
moment, and then weeping bitterly the next, literally flipping between praise,
worship, laughter, and praise, worship, and weeping. It was there, in that
constant worship/praise state, that I ‘truly encountered Jesus’. Within these
“sessions” the Holy Spirit took me on a journey to deep, dark, scary and
shameful places within myself, and so began the uprooting, spring-cleaning and
healing process. This was the “body, soul and spirit healing” that I’d prophetically
spoken of to my friend before leaving Cape Town. It was during this period that
I said, “Lord, when the time is right and I’m sufficiently healed, and you send
me out into the work place again, please let it be somehow connected to
ministry?”
Over the next few months I went through some major ups and
downs, which I will go into more detail on later, but ultimately God was faithful
in His promise for healing and restoration. I went from 36 to 87kg (the skinniest
and fattest that I’ve ever been, all in the space of 6 months). I am still
clinically HIV positive, but I know that God is perfecting the work (of
complete healing) which He has begun. (Philippians 1:6)
Three years later, without having made any application, (in
fact I was not even aware that any position existed, and was blissfully going
along in the job that God had provided transporting school children), I
received a call telling me to send my CV/Resume into Benny Hinn Ministries. I
was surprised at first, as I’d had no word from God concerning this. I sent in
my CV and told my mom that we needed to pray. I prayed, “Father, if this is not
of you then please shut the door, and don’t let it get to the interview stage.
But if this is your will, then show me so by throwing the doors wide open. I
went for an interview the following Friday, and began work that Monday. God had
not only answered my request of three years ago, but He placed me within the
very same ministry that had been so instrumental in my breakthrough to healing
and transformation. WOW! Amazing God, Amazing Grace!
"Not Unto Death, but that God's Glory will be revealed through your life..."
(to be continued)
